Dear Daughter: Loving You Is Not Hard by Courtney Westlake

This week’s ‘Dear Daughter’ letter comes from special needs mother and author of A Different Beautiful, Courtney Westlake. She answers the question, “What’s it like to be her mom?”

Dear Daughter,

The question was from a near stranger, but as part of a heartfelt discussion on motherhood, it gave me pause. I knew my new friend wasn’t looking for a breezy answer.

So, my precious daughter, this is what I told her about what it feels like to mother you…

It is overwhelming.

And it is a privilege.

It can be overwhelming learning how to care for your rare skin disorder.

It can be overwhelming learning how best to meet your complex medical needs.

And It can be overwhelming figuring out how to coordinate your health care. Prior to your birth, I used to cringe at the mere thought of having to make a doctors’ appointment.

It can be overwhelming navigating new roads.

It can be overwhelming finding how best to respond when other children ask about your skin disorder.

And it can be overwhelming when they make rude comments.

But to care for you day in and day out? It is truly a privilege.

Loving you is not hard.

It is a privilege to bring relief and moisture to you.

It is a privilege to smooth lotion over your tightened, dry skin several times a day.

And it is a privilege to talk and sing and kiss.

With each long, soaking bath each day, it is a privilege to minimize your skin’s discomfort.

With every cuddle when you are sick, it is a privilege to wrap you in a blanket.

It is a privilege to snuggle you close with warmth and love and touch.

At our numerous doctors’ appointments, it is a privilege to be your protector.

It is a privilege to be your advocate for each check-up, each prescription, and each procedure.

And with every new accomplishment and new milestone, it is a privilege to be your encourager and biggest fan.

Indeed, it is my overwhelming privilege to be the mother of two beautiful children. God has entrusted to me: you and your brother.

It is an overwhelming privilege to be the one chosen to teach you about pride and dignity and respect.

And it is overwhelming to give shield when you need protection and to give a push when you need to fly.

It is an honor.

Above all, it is the most amazing honor to help you learn about your true identity in Christ. It is an honor to guide you to open your heart each day to the awesome Creator. He molded you and offers you perfect love and grace forever.

My child: loving you is not hard. Accepting you has never been difficult. Even when our days have felt difficult, your dad and I do our best to keep you healthy, alive, and thriving.

The gift of being chosen to be your mother is so overwhelming and so beautiful. The privilege is all mine.

Courtney Westlake

Courtney Westlake is the author of A Different Beautiful. She is married to Evan and mom to Connor and Brenna.

After Brenna was born with a severe skin disorder, Courtney began chronicling family life. She writes about her experiences raising a child with physical differences and special needs on her blog. Courtney’s writing has been published on sites such as Upworthy, Good Housekeeping, Woman’s Day, and Yahoo Parenting. You can follow her on Facebook and Instagram.