I crave community.

That’s probably why I’m a bit of a direct sales junkie. I like the personal connection of it.

I like knowing that my purchase is helping someone out in a tangible way.

I also love buying products that raise funds for those in need. This was the inspiration behind my #texasstrong fundraiser to help out central Texas flood victims.

For the love of community

Last month, a little late to the party, I was welcomed into a fabulous community of women who are “fighting for grace” together on Jen Hatmaker’s For the Love launch team. These women laugh, cry, pray and grow together through Facebook and Instagram.

See, social media is not all bad.

Nearly 500 women in one group with no drama, no fights, just lots of love, laughter and honesty. It’s almost too good to be true.

But we found our tribe.  We found common ground and joint ownership in the message of this book, Jen’s huge, hilarious and necessary pep talk for Jesus-loving women who are struggling to do it all, have it all and make it look easy.

My favorite piece of wisdom from For the Love is found in the letter Jen wrote to her kids:

Popularity is a terrible goal, because you have to lose yourself to find it.

You see, popularity is the result of losing yourself to please others; community is the result of finding yourself to please God.

Love God. Love people. It’s simple, really.

Figure out what you’re good at, how God has uniquely gifted you, and use that to bless others. Then encourage others to find and use their gifts. That’s how you build authentic community.

Finding your calling

If you don’t remain true to yourself, if you “sell out” for the masses, to maintain that shiny exterior everyone loves, you’ll lose yourself. And you’ll lose your calling.

I have to admit, when I became a bit of a local celebrity overnight and people I didn’t even know started posting photos of my #texasstrong shirt, I relished the attention at first.  I mean, I’ve never exactly been the “popular” girl.  “This is kind of cool; people actually value me and what I’m doing,” I thought.

But pandering to popularity quickly culminated in an identity crisis.

I found myself performing for a bunch of people who didn’t know and value the real me but who liked me simply because I made a trending shirt.

I wanted to be happy and inspired and energetic.  Instead, I became anxious and depressed and exhausted.  I started introverting, hardcore.

Then my mother in law sweetly reminded me, “You weren’t called to sell shirts. You were called to write.”

Amen.  That was my “aha” moment.

I had totally lost sight of my gift, trying to please people instead of pleasing God.  As my grandma says, “You can’t be everything to everyone.”

In For the Love, Jen gives us permission to guard our hearts and say “no”:

People will take as much as you will give them, not because they are terrible humans, but because they only want this one slice of you. It doesn’t seem like much to them. … Wise women know what to hold onto and what to release, and how to walk confidently in their choices–no regrets, no apologies, no guilt.

Fighting for grace

My personality type is ESTJ – the Executive, which means that I like to be in charge. I do things the “right” way. I don’t leave room for error.

And that means I have to fight for grace. Every. Single. Day.

I am highly critical, of myself and others, and it can be suffocating. I constantly have to remember that I am enough. I am loved. I am approved.

And then I have to extend that same love and grace to others.

In For the Love, Jen reminds us that we are already loved, already accepted, already absolved:

I think God wants us off the hook, since Jesus pretty much handled that for us.

Finding your tribe

You know who I used to be jealous of as a blogger and aspiring author?

Jen Hatmaker.

And you know why Jen’s writing is so popular? Because she is really freaking real:

It’s okay to have human feelings, even if a whole big bunch of people are watching you have them.

She is open and honest and vulnerable. And that is brave. That is living and loving people well.

That is how you find your tribe. That is how you grow a community that empowers one another.

The point of writing and blogging should never be popularity. Sure, it might be a side effect, but the point of blogging, and social media in general, should be building community.

Because, if you’re not making connections with your readers, then what’s the point? If you’re not leading people closer to Christ through your vulnerability, then what’s the point?

If it’s about bringing attention to yourself, instead of to God, then what is the point?

I didn’t know how much I needed this book (and the community that came with it) until God handed it to me.

I now have 200+ new friends coming to Austin to meet me in two weeks. Okay, they’re coming to meet Jen, but whatever man.

My favorite part of Facebook these days is our tight-knit subgroup of writers and bloggers on the launch team.  We give each other much needed feedback, encouragement and honesty on a daily basis.

And one of these sweet new friends just designed my beautiful mockingbird blog header you see above.  Thanks, Bethany!

Jen Hatmaker’s For the Love book Giveaway

For the Love launches TODAY, August 18!  So go get it already, for the love.

Want to win one from me?  Enter below.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

And, in the meantime,

Be kind.

Be you.

Love Jesus.

Love,

Lauren

P.S. Want more quotes from Jen Hatmaker’s new book?

Check out Friday Five: For the Love Quotes.