Why I Miss My Dead Mother During the Holidays More Each Year

I miss my dead mother during the holidays more each year.

She’s been gone for over a decade.

She was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s almost two decades ago.

Why I miss my dead mother during the holidays more each year

I’ll never get used to not buying her a Christmas present.

I’ll never get used to not helping her address Christmas cards.

And I’ll never never get used to not helping her pick out a tree.

I’ll never get used to not helping her bake holiday cookies.

I’ll never get used to not helping her cook Christmas Eve dinner.

And I’ll never get used to not helping her decorate the house and hang stockings.

I’ll never get used to not buying poinsettias with her.

I’ll never get used to not doing holiday crafts with her.

And I’ll never get used to not looking at Christmas lights with her.

I’ll never get used to not listening to Christmas music with her.

I’ll never get used to not helping her wrap presents.

And I’ll never get used to not opening a stocking filled by her on Christmas morning.

I’ll never get used to not watching her face light up as we open gifts.

I’ll never get used to not celebrating Christmas with my mother.

Most of all, I’ll never get used to not having my mother here to do all of these things with my kids

I’ll never get used to not celebrating Christmas with my mother.

A version of this post was originally published November 17, 2021.