Meet Alyssa DeLosSantos: Texas Strong Woman of the Month

This month’s Texas Strong Woman of the Month is incredible wife, mom, writer, speaker, friend, and Bible teacher Alyssa DeLosSantos. I’ve known Alyssa for about two years now, online and in person, and I am constantly inspired and refreshed by her honesty, wisdom, kindness, and humility.

Meet Alyssa DeLosSantos

Alyssa is our first ever non-native (gasp!) Texas Strong Woman of the Month. Born and raised in Illinois, she has now called Texas home for two decades. Alyssa lives in Boerne with her husband, three kids, and a dog.

Texas Strong Woman of the Month

Favorite title(s) for yourself

My favorite titles for myself are forgiven, seed sower, ragamuffin, wife, mom, sister, and friend.

Everything I do hinges on the forgiveness I’ve been granted. This establishes my worth and then I can be a seed sower in all my relationships. I identify as a ragamuffin because I have a bit of a rebellious perspective when it comes to faith and church. I want to be whole hearted and not just a good Jesus girl–one that follows all the rules perfectly, but is without relationship.

The other titles are pretty intuitive–wife, mom, sister, friend. All of these relationships are the sweetest expressions of grace. I don’t deserve any of them, but they are my greatest joy, and I receive them all as the gifts they are.

Your toughest lesson or challenge

My toughest challenge is walking in freedom from all the losses in life–growing up in a strained home that led to divorce, up against the odds of being a girl growing up without the affirmation of her father, guarded by so many walls that led to an ongoing struggle with self-sufficiency, walking through my own divorce, learning how to feel again, and raising children with integrity in spite of co-parenting.

Honestly, people pleasing naturally grew out of my life experiences and that has been the most difficult obstacle to overcome.

Your proudest accomplishment

My proudest accomplishment is loving my children fiercely. I struggled to feel protected and cherished as a child, and so I put so much energy into making sure my kids knew how deeply they were wanted and loved.

Personally, being published in a devotional in October is pretty darn exciting! And, anytime I have the opportunity to speak to a group of women, like the KLOVE single mom’s event, I am overcome with gratitude. These are evidence that God really uses our messes to become messages of hope.

Your role models or mentors

Denalyn Lucado is my mentor and she has taught me so much about acting justly, loving mercy, and walking humbly with God. Her mercy gift has stretched out of my comfort zone—caused me to think about others before considering all the skepticism I’m inclined to because I have the gift of discernment, which can trump grace when not tempered.

Ruthann Weece is my other mentor. She lives in Dallas, but was my youth pastor’s wife when I lived in Illinois. She knew me in my difficult teen years–the years that I labored under the notion of being unloved because of my family situation–and she never wavered in speaking encouragement and life into me. And she kept hold of me when I had given up.

She continues to challenge me in my faith, in my marriage, and as a mother.

Your best advice for newbies

Hmm. Play your note. Stay in your lane. Find your voice. I think it’s so easy for us to spend lots of energy crafting our future selves and lives, manipulating the moments we have to create the moments we want. In doing so, we miss what is right in front of us.

We do well to plow the ground right in front of us, to lean into today’s provision instead of reaching into tomorrow.

Stay in the moment no matter what that is: mothering, career, parenting. We become what we behold, so be choosey about where you set your sights.

What I’d say to the 20 something me–punch fear in the face. The fear that says you are going to mess up, or miss out on the calling God placed on your life if you don’t act quickly-and get it right. A call on your life will not go away and your yes has seasons. A no now isn’t a no forever.

How you’re building community

I am currently writing Bible studies and then teaching them in my home. I’ve had the opportunity to meet lots of great women that I meet for the first time when they cross the threshold of my front door. A friend of a friend invited them and they had the courage to show up.

The introvert in me finds that so courageous!

I also spend a great deal of time with my neighbors sitting in the culdesac visiting or celebrating birthdays. (We even moved a deer carcass from my backyard once.) I participate in a driving carpool and volunteer at my children’s schools. I am committed to being present in the lives God places in front of me each and every day.

Quote or verse you live by

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.

Hebrews 10:23 NIV

This became three dimensional for me as I walked through an unwelcomed divorce and custody battle. I was literally face down in my bedroom, declaring that I could not take one more breath without God’s help when this verse became my life support. I honestly pictured myself holding on to hope like you would grip a steering wheel.

And I knew it was my only hope for surviving the dark season of my own divorce.

Favorite nonprofits you support

The Mentoring Project does a Father’s Day campaign that we like participating in. They are committed to busting the statistics of fatherless children. This, of course, has meaning to a girl that had a father that left the home. By all accounts, my life should be one hot stinking mess. I believe in the work they do.

Any Woman Can free women’s health center is a non-profit organization located in North San Antonio offering quality services through medically accurate information. We are here to support young women in any decisions they may need to make, or have already made, through a variety of free and confidential services we offer at our free women’s health center. Unlike other free women’s health centers in San Antonio, Any Woman Can offers more than just “free services,” we offer preventative support through counseling opportunities and fellowship. We help young women through tough situations by offering both support and medically accurate information.