5 Sympathy Gifts Sure to Soothe a Grieving Heart

Are you searching for the right sympathy gifts to show someone you care?

It is so difficult to know what to say or do to soothe a grieving heart.

In recent years, I have experienced the loss of my mother, my stepmother, my uncle, my grandparents, and family friends, and I still sometimes struggle to find the right way to honor a friend or family member’s grief. I’m learning that while we may not be able to mend a broken heart, we can certainly hold space for and show the hurting that we acknowledge their loss.

Below, I’ve created a sympathy gifts guide with a few very tangible ways you can soothe a grieving heart. (Please keep in mind that you cannot “heal” someone’s heartache, you can only love them well through the pain, fortifying their courage to stay the course and survive their grief.)

5 Sympathy Gifts Sure to Soothe a Grieving Heart

Rest & relaxation

Good sleep is one of the first things to go during periods of grief.

A comforting throw pillow or blanket with bubble bath, an eye mask, and essential oils like lavender or Roman chamomile make a wonderful, sleep-inducing gift basket. A gift certificate for a therapeutic massage is another great idea. (You could also offer to babysit if they have young children.)

Personalized remembrance

Gifts like jewelry with their loved one’s birthstone, a custom photo book, or a donation to their favorite nonprofit in their loved one’s name are good ways to honor their grief and celebrate their loved one’s life.

Nourishment

We often forget to eat when we’re grieving.

Treating your friend to a home-cooked (or even store-bought) meal, a bottle of their favorite wine, and some cookies or chocolate just might help them feel like a person again.

I will never forget my MOPS friends bringing me a giant basket filled with snacks, paper goods, and gift cards for food in between my mother’s death and her funeral. It made eating practically effortless and washing dishes nonexistent for several weeks.

Decor

Forget-me-not flowers became one of my favorite plants after my mother’s Alzheimer’s diagnosis. I’ve since realized that its symbolism goes far beyond dementia, universally signifying remembrance after loss. I’ve also become very attached to beautiful quotes about heaven.

Artwork for the home that reminds them of eternal legacy is a great way to honor their loved one’s memory. Laurelbox offers beautiful sympathy gifts like candles, jewelry, keepsakes, and home decor for every type of loss.

Nature

When my mom died, I received several loss of a mother sympathy cards with garden themes. I also received a granite bench engraved with the words “In loving memory of Dixie” from my in laws after her death.

While my mother loved gardening, I think a garden can serve as a great symbol of the circle of life and a quiet place to remember for anyone. Instead of giving someone flowers, consider giving them an easy-to-grow plant, an outdoor bench, or even a birdbath to help them create their own memorial garden in their backyard or at the gravesite.

Holding space for those who are grieving

Whatever you choose to give them, please be present for your friend or family member who is grieving, without any judgment or expectation of a timeline for their personal grief process.

Don’t try to “fix” them. Just offer them a shoulder to cry on or space, depending on what they need at the current moment, a lot of kindness and patience and, most importantly, time to work through the pain.

You can’t pull them out of their despair, but you can get in it and hold their hand so they know they are not alone.

A version of this post was originally published May 27, 2016.