This winter, I’m honored to share a series of guest posts, called “Permission to Grieve,” written by some very brave women who have faced loss in many forms.

I pray that their stories of survival will give you permission (and courage) to grieve, to rest, to take deep breaths, in 2016.

Permission to grieve

The second installment in my “Permission to Grieve” series comes from Sarah May, who shows us that rest is necessary after caring for and losing a parent to cancer.

A season of rest

It’s okay to rest.

Not the kind of rest where you watch a season of some show in one day, or you lay around and play on Facebook and Pinterest. While those things make us feel less busy and rested, they aren’t really rest. For me, I’ve been resting for almost a year. Yes, an actual season of rest.

Recently a friend and I were discussing last year’s Christmas party when she mentioned “I remember you being there. You looked tired.”

The truth is, I was tired. I remember being tired.

One thing no one tells you about grief is that it’s exhausting. Uncontrollable emotions and finding a new normal is downright draining.

We lost my dad to leukemia in January of 2014, after a year-and-a-half battle. Not only was I grieving, but I was also recovering from a year and a half of being a caregiver.

Balancing work and hospital life was normal for my family.

We didn’t have time to stop and think about it all. We were too busy surviving to stop and rest.

Back then, rest was Netflix and Facebook. Once it all ended, I realized I was tired. I stopped coaching a travel soccer team and really pulled back from my social calendar.

The distractions of life are good those first few months after loss, but eventually you will need to rest. God created the Sabbath for us to rest, and we need to use it.

My rest didn’t look like Netflix marathons (okay, maybe some times) but instead it was spent going for runs at the park or the lake. Reading good books in my hammock and craft days with friends. It involved a lot of time reflecting and dreaming on what’s next.

During my rest, I was able to get to know God and what He wants for my life. For the past year, I have been able to slowly bring back my social calendar and being involved in my community. All of these things are a little more aligned with God’s Word than they were before my season of rest.

If you find yourself tired, take a step back. It’s okay.

You can politely say “no” to social events and volunteer work. You can spend your time on walks at the park and finding a new hobby.

Grief is hard and exhausting. You don’t have to have it all together right now. Take a break.

I promise you’ll meet a God who loves you and has such great things in store for you in your moment of rest.

Sarah May at My Complete Mayhem

Sarah May is a twenty-something trying to navigate life with a little bit of Jesus and a touch of wit at mycompletemayhem.net.