The brave ladies in this winter’s Permission to Grieve series have been such a blessing to me.
When Kelly Nickerson contacted me about contributing a guest post, I was immediately overwhelmed by her story of loss and inspired by her acceptance of her calling to comfort those who are grieving.
Today, Kelly shares how God prepared her heart for His ministry as the Good Grief Girl.
Permission to Grieve
The Good Grief Girl
I never planned on being the Grief Girl. In fact, I tried to run from it.
I do remember hiking in the back of our wild woods and finding an old cemetery. One grave stuck out in my mind. It simply said “Baby” on it. It had a lamb carved out on the top and was dated back in the 1800s. I would often go by myself at age 11 and 12 and just sit silently visiting, wondering what had happened.
Maybe it was God getting me ready for what was going to happen later in life.
There was another time my friends and I took a shortcut through a cemetery. We heard “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” playing over and over. We followed it and found we were in ”Babyland” and look down to see so many names carefully inscribed into the stone.
So much love. So much loss. So many stories left untold.
When we answer the call of God, it’s often not in ways we would have expected or even wanted. From a young age, I would pretend to preach sermons from my father’s pulpit. I loved God with all my heart and loved the idea of going into ministry. I would quiz my Dad for hours and ask him how he got “the call.”
I wanted “the call,” too, and I didn’t want to miss it.
Little did we know that, when my heart felt it couldn’t beat one more time, God would whisper “the call.” I didn’t realize that it would be a specific call or that I would even find myself wanting to run from it.
Yet he called and I responded, “Send me.”
Often, being in a ministry for grief, sickness, and for the lost, I get a lot of questions. Questions like, “This is just a season, right?” Or, “Is this healthy? Are you sure you aren’t stuck? Do you need counseling?”
This is understandable as most don’t want to stay in this hard place. Most want to pass through it quickly and never look back.
Me, I have been instructed to stay.
He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. – 2nd Corinthians 1:4 NLT
He gave me comfort, and now it’s time to do my part.
What I have learned about those that grieve deeply; we also know joy at a level most can’t understand.
As one of my favorite books, “Hind’s Feet on High Places” by Hannah Hurnard, spoke about, regarding Suffering and Sorrow being transformed:
“We are no more Suffering and Sorrow than you are Much Afraid. Don’t you know that everything that comes to the high places is transformed? Since you brought us here with you, we returned into Joy and Peace.”
Joy and peace are literally a part of my name. This book helped me explore all the emotions I had been feeling for so long and helped validate my experiences.
While Grief Girl wouldn’t be my first pick of dreams to fulfill, it is what I have been called to do at this point of my life. (Like those in the Bible who have tried to run from God leading, I should have remembered that He always gets his way.) I wear this badge with honor and gratefulness. I am a testimony of God’s saving grace.
You see, I am a mother to 6 children. Only two of them remain here on earth. It’s been a bittersweet, tumultuous journey, but well worth it.
When I see those that need to go down into the “Valley of Loss,” I take their hands and remember that it’s my turn to “Return to the Valley”and take a hold of another “Much-Afraid,” so that she doesn’t have to go through the journey alone.
Deep losses are devastating. Yet when we allow ourselves to enter into the place of brokenness, that is where our Father can do the most miraculous work. Without sadness, you can’t truly experience or appreciate joy.
Happiness is a feeling; joy is a gift and choice. While grieving is hard, it brings a gift that can only be earned.
That gift is empathy, joy, and peace.
We all have a call on our lives that many may not understand. I am now embracing my title and renaming it, The Good Grief Girl. With God leading, we press on to what He has called us to do, and that my friend is good!
What is your call?
Have you answered?
Kelly Nickerson
Kelly Nickerson is a homeschooling mama with two beautiful kids under her wing and four dancing in Heaven. She also has an amazing husband, who supports her like no other.
Kelly is a firecracker prayer warrior who shares honestly about her brokenness, while praising and clinging to the God who sustains her. When she isn’t hunting down germs with disinfectant, you can find her writing of her adventures at kellynickerson.com.