When You Don’t Feel Like You Are Enough

I’ll never forget the day I missed my oldest daughter rolling over for the first time.

My precious baby was in good hands, of course. My mother-in-law was watching her downstairs in our living room while I worked upstairs, futilely trying to run a nonprofit from my home office right after giving birth to my first child.

I wish I could tell you that when I missed that early milestone, I immediately realized that working from home with a newborn wasn’t worth it to me. I wish I could tell you I realized both quality and quantity time with my tiny daughter was what I really wanted and valued most in that moment. I wish I could tell you that in that difficult stage of diapers and spit-up, I realized it was enough for me to just be her mom, but I didn’t.

My pride and jealousy of other people with thriving careers competed with my sense of contentment and gratitude, and I continued to strive for something better than what I already had. I eventually quit my position as an executive director, only to end up trying to prove once again that I could do it all. I was soon simultaneously raising a family, caregiving, blogging, and accidentally attempting to run my own T-shirt business.

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