Don’t Give Up if You Have High Functioning Anxiety and Depression

This is the face of high functioning anxiety and depression.

Anxiety and depression is my norm.

My anxiety started in elementary school.

And my depression started in middle school, when I was in sixth grade and my dog died to be exact.

I never know how much of it is situational and how much of it is hormonal.

I never know how much of it is tied to trauma and grief and how much of it is chemical or biological.

All I know is that anxiety and depression is my norm.

Don’t give up if you have high functioning anxiety and depression.

I overthink and over analyze every situation.

Some days, I struggle to even make simple decisions.

And I replay conversations in my head over and over again.

I have trouble falling asleep and staying asleep.

And I have crazy, stressful dreams that feel real when I wake up.

I’ve learned coping strategies.

I’ve learned coping strategies over the last three decades.

I try to remember to take my Lexapro every morning.

Sometimes, I go to counseling.

I get a monthly massage.

I try to exercise and drink enough water and eat healthy.

And I try not to over commit myself.

But, often, my anxiety and depression gets the better of me anyway.

Sometimes, I overindulge in alcohol to numb the pain and the fear and the sadness.

But alcohol always ends up making my anxiety and depression worse.

It adds guilt and shame into the mix.

And it lowers my serotonin levels even more.

I am not giving up.

Taking care of my mental health is a constant struggle for me.

And it probably always will be.

But I am not giving up.

And, I hope that me being honest helps you not give up if you struggle with anxiety and depression, too.